"Anytime you run into a wall or a closed door, the first place to try to open it is in your own mind."
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Marianne Williamson
Belief in Yourself
Often we don’t even realize who we’re meant to be because of limiting beliefs we have about ourselves and we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. When you feel confident in yourself (believing in yourself) other people and their opinions hold no power in defining your destiny.
The time to consider change is when we realise that a particular belief is having some kind of negative impact on our life; our potential, our productivity, our relationships, our possibilities, our career, our family, our physical, mental and emotional health. Changing beliefs is easier said that done, keeping in mind that we are emotional beings who have been thinking, doing and believing a certain way for a very long time. The good news is that change is very possible if we’re serious about the process and we’re prepared to do the work.
In an effort to align our beliefs, thinking and behaviour with the group, we often lose ourselves. We lose our own identity and individuality, waste our potential and live a life of frustration, compromise and under-achievement. We don’t become the best we can, we become what is expected of us; we succumb to the enormity of conformity.
You were born with abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. We all have our strengths. We all have some specific great things we have been born to do.
To create health and well being and Your Life's Masterpiece (whatever it means to you) you need to:
- Lengthen your stride
- Dream big and dare to fail
- Focus on the prize
- Embrace change
- Climb out of your rut
- Make major improvements through minor adjustments
- Experiment your way to success
- Grow into your dreams
- Find a way to be what you want
- Cherish challenge
- Change your family tree
- Roll up your sleeves and get started
Beliefs define each person's perceived strengths and weaknesses. Your beliefs about what you can and cannot do define what you think and feel. These mental constructs are very important to explore when you are dealing with cancer. How do you define your strengths and weaknesses? Are you defining your strengths and weaknesses, or is how you think and feel about yourself defined by other people, specific life experiences, and your culture? You have the power to choose what you believe, think, and feel through your cancer journey and life in general.
From early infancy onwards our conscious and unconscious minds absorbing, filtering and processing information from many different sources, from our family, social and cultural background and from pleasant or unpleasant experiences in our life. Within each chapter of our lives, each of us have gathered experiences, collected outside opinions, and inherited external viewpoints. Many of us spend a lifetime creating and listening to negative voices. Where do they come from? Why do they so inexorable persist?
To begin with, they echo the words of our parents, siblings and friends, teachers, other authority figures,books we read, TV we watch, music we listen to, and places we visit, as well as normal individual insecurities, are shaping and influencing our beliefs in certain ways. This foundation leads us to our present and future perspectives, attitudes, reactions, choices and behaviors.
Much like how the foundation of a house will influence whether the structure ends up being strong and sturdy or flimsy and destructible, our beliefs will lead us to empowering and wonderful experiences or to limiting and frustrating ones. These become the building blocks.Learning to embrace your true essence, acknowledge and accept yourself as amazing is the access to your personal power. There is no need to judge, measure or compare ourselves to others. Each of us is a unique expression, perfect just the way we are. When you begin to except and appreciate your own special gifts, talents and presence – you will be able to standing in your power.
"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re - reading the last one."
Considering that your beliefs are a collection of your experiences including external influences and opinions, contemplate for a moment that the beliefs you hold about yourself aren’t all factual. You have memories whether vague or acute associated with your parents, teachers, friends, good and bad relationships. It is natural that you have adopted and integrated them into the picture you hold of yourself and latched onto them as if they were the truth about who you are.
Limiting beliefs are unconscious blocks, patterns, excuses, reasons, habits or obstacles that stand in the way of you living in the present. They are merely your old stories and ‘ways of being’. They may have served you in the past but an illness, like cancer, is a call to show you that you have outgrown them and ready to replace them with something else, more aligned with who you are today.
Limiting beliefs are something that you may find yourselves defending or justifying. You may well find yourself thinking, something along the lines of there are reasons why you can’t do that… And the more of a limitation it is, the more reasons and examples you will have to support your limiting story. Releasing and healing limitations are a vital part of the process of transformation.
Limiting beliefs that run through your mind are mental habits repeating itself, making you believe that you are incapable of reaching your goals and your dreams. These beliefs easy trick you into thinking you are less than you actually are. Consequently, you question whether you are worthy or worthless, powerful or powerless, competent or incompetent. Your answers to these questions influence greatly how you succeed in life or how happy or content you are. Ironically, knowingly or unknowingly, you fear that if you let them go, you will lose your identity.
All of us hold onto a lifetime’s worth of beliefs. These beliefs are our story (letting go )lines to which we cling over the course of our lives. They shape our character and our attitudes, our thoughts and the type of person we think we should be. We often sabotage ourselves with negative thinking, words like 'can't', 'impossible' and 'not good enough'. We are often our worse critic! (»»Your inner Critic)But isn't life hard enough without creating your own barriers? Without putting yourself down? Words have power whether they are an internal or external. »»the power of words
What you believe about yourself and your world will determine what you create in your life.
Beliefs are not good or bad, right or wrong. They can be supportive or limiting. They are either reflections of your deeper truth supporting you to blossom, or they are lies limiting you from being and experiencing all that you are. Your beliefs are simply the thoughts you keep thinking until they seem to describe our reality.
Beliefs shape your actions. They make the rules and boundaries within which you operate. The level of emotional investment you have in a certain belief, the more likely you are to be irrational, defensive and even protective of that belief, no matter how much of a negative it has been in your life. The challenge comes in being brave enough to open your mind and expand your thinking to the possibility that some of your long-held beliefs may be wrong!
When you have believed something for a long time, you have an emotional attachment to that belief. That belief is familiar, comfortable and safe for you. It gives you a level of predictability and certainty. For many people, their life simply becomes a process of conforming to pre-existing and often negative beliefs.
You can only change when you are prepared to address these old patterns. Watch the old patterns don’t try to repress them. They need to be dropped -not repressed. Repression is through discipline, and dropping your limiting beliefs is through witnessing how they become less and less powerful. Watch the old pattern as a witness. Don’t get identified with it.
Believe in Yourself
How do we arrive at our underlying set of beliefs, attitudes, assumptions and prejudices? Who planted the information in our minds?
Most beliefs are generalisations that has been developed from what we have been told or learned since childhood. Most belief systems are established before 6 years of age. As children we were receptive to all the messages that came your way from people around you. Was the information nurturing or toxic? What did we hear, see or experience that established our life’s action patterns?
These beliefs have transferred to adulthood and have the power to make you feel miserable or energetic.
Whatever you were told about yourself that defeats you, whatever you have come to belief as your flaws is in not true. We internalize those unsupportive messages and identify them as flaws. As yourself where the beliefs about yourself came from. Go back to your childhood and think who said these statements to you?
What circumstances occurred that led you to believe them? Take your time here so you can understand exactly how these perspectives lodged in you. Allow yourself to question the beliefs. Do they fit all of you? Can you find the part of yourself that is still alive and has not been affected by them?
For the sake of your well being and health it is necessary for you to look at your beliefs, evaluate them, and identify which ones you want to discard.
The mind is like a garden; a fertile field just waiting for you to plant the crops that will feed life’s journey.
Seeds grow in a garden. Words, phrases and beliefs planted in your mind become a part of who you are and what you will become. the power of words
Plant a bean and harvest multiple beans. It is the same in your mind. Planting negative thoughts and beliefs will produce a negative life crop. Planting positive beliefs and attitudes in our hearts and thoughts will encourage crops and actions rich in life’s possibilities. We will feed our minds and hearts and nourish those we come in contact with.
When things are not going the way we hope it would go, we tend to doubt ourselves and everything around us. This is a natural reaction, but not necessarily the right way of reacting to the situation. It is easy to doubt yourself when you have been diagnosed with cancer. It is difficult to believe in our own capacity when life seems to give the worst to us.
This is the time to clean you inner window from all smudges and start to see your inner beauty and strength. Get rid of guilt and self-blame and start to believing in yourself. You know how to sweep a room and dust off furniture. Sweep the dross out of your heart. Clean your heart like a mirror and look into it. See the sunlight sparkle. Remove the particles that hide your light. Pick out old hurts and dislikes. Use tweezers if you must or a spoon, and get them out. Make way for the sun, for you are to shine it.
Ask yourself, have I always believed this belief about myself?
- How did this belief originate?
- Is this belief still true?
- How do I know if this belief is true? What evidence do I have to support this belief?
- Do I know anyone with an opposite belief?
- Do I have any evidence to support that this belief might be untrue?
- Is this belief stupid, or absurd? In what way is it Stupid, or absurd?
"Beliefs exist at the subconscious level, so they typically operate below the level of conscious awareness."
You can witness their effects when you set a new goal and then notice the various ways in which you block yourself from achieving it quickly. Maybe you procrastinate. Maybe you hold back due to fear. Maybe you question whether or not you’re worthy of some new accomplishment. Maybe you make avoidable mistakes that sabotage your progress. Much of the resistance you experience is coming from your subconscious beliefs."
Most limiting beliefs are about you, what you can, can’t, should, shouldn’t do, be, create or achieve. Limiting beliefs can seriously hold you back in life. But most of the time such beliefs are invisible to us. They control some of our thoughts and behaviors behind the scenes, enough to curtail our results in some area of life.
Limiting beliefs usually reflect the profoundly deep "I cant’s" of life. Whenever you really feel that you just can't do something, have something or be something, you are probably being influenced by a limiting belief".
Basically they are simple statements that you either say to yourself, or think about.
Limiting beliefs are like vampires; they suck the life out of you. But also like vampires, they cannot exist in the light of day. Limiting beliefs can only exist because they hide in the dark recesses of the mind, unexamined. Once they are brought to light, they can be seen for what they are and they must die.
It is possible that you had a relationship with your limiting beliefs for many years. Ones you have explored the source of these beliefs, it is necessary that you stop to give them your attention. Tell yourself that you don’t need them anymore, that they are not true. Limiting beliefs are holding you back, bring you unhappiness, blur your reality and keep you away from realizing your full potential.
Look for areas of your life where you haven’t been achieving your desired results even after trying many different approaches. You keep trying different actions, systems, or methods, but nothing seems to work. Most likely a limiting belief is preventing you from achieving what you want, so no amount of action will prove effective until and unless that belief is corrected. Many problems, which cannot be solved at the level of action, can be readily solved at the level of belief. A new belief will enable you to take different actions, thereby producing different results.
Steve Pavlina: “Trying to achieve a goal with a limiting belief is like climbing a mountain while carrying a 100-lb pack. You may begin enthusiastically, but soon each step will be hard and painful, and your progress will slow to a crawl. Instead of pushing yourself to climb harder, a better choice would be to lighten your pack by dumping the limiting belief that’s holding you back. Some people, however, become so attached to that 100-lb pack that they won’t let it go no matter how restricting it is. Instead they blame the mountain, the rocks, or their shoes for their troubles. But for every bag with limiting beliefs you drop, the pack gets lighter and your claim will be more enjoyable."
Lets have a look into some of the limiting reason which can hold you back to achieve your full potential and goals.
"I should, I have to..."
The perfectionist has high standards and expectation, is hart on himself and self critical. When the perfectionist is at their worst he can be judgmental, inflexible, dogmatic, obsessive-compulsive, critical of himself and others, serious, controlling and anxious.
The need to be perfect is usually based on fear. A fear that if you don’t win, you lose in life, that if you are not the best, then you are just not good enough.
This brings problems in their lives because they have a tendency to be disappointed with themselves and the people around them when their expectations are not met. They will have times of feeling that whatever they do is never good enough. They can become upset with people in their lives who aren't trying hard enough. The perfectionist will obsess over what they have done or feel that they should do. Many times this personality will be tense, anxious, and take life too seriously. If you are constantly putting pressure on yourself to be all things to all people, and to do everything perfectly, you are not on the path to fulfillment. You are on the path to burnout.
An underlying problem for many perfectionists is low self-esteem. They cannot accept that they are good enough, just as they are- flaws, imperfections and all. So they drive themselves to become the best. Because their goals are unrealistic, they will never feel that they have achieved enough, and this makes their feelings of inadequacy even worse.
If you feel that you have a problem with perfectionism, take a good look at what your beliefs are. Do you feel that you need to prove yourself to those around you? Do you feel that if you just let yourself be, and let go of striving so hard that people will not love or accept you? Understanding the underlying causes of a need to drive yourself can help you realize why you are putting so much energy into trying to achieve the impossible.
Holding on to the idea of being perfect is destructive and soul-destroying. You are punishing yourself- both by pushing yourself too hard, and by blaming yourself for your unavoidable failure in reaching perfection.
Perfectionism can drive one to heights of achievement…or to the depths of despair and inaction. Perfectionism demands that you and your work be flawless because anything else is unacceptable. It’s all black and white: either you’re perfect or you’re a failure. Perfectionism is a learned attitude that’s very different from working to achieve excellence.
If you want to break free from the grip of perfectionism, the process is much the same as breaking free from any negative habit, circumstance, belief, or emotion. The key to letting go of the need to be perfect is to accept that you are good enough just as you are.
There’s a difference between excellence and perfection. “Excellence involves enjoying what you’re doing, feeling good about what you’ve learned, and developing confidence. Perfection involves…always finding mistakes no matter how well you’re doing.” The pursuit of excellence requires effort and focus. Yet, unlike perfectionism, it doesn’t demand a sacrifice of self - esteem because the focus is on the process of achievement rather than the outcome.
Learn to separate the “who” from the “do.” Understand that your self-worth isn’t always measured by perfect achievement. Sometimes a small thoughtful gift means more than the perfect one.
Appreciate the moment. Too often, we spend our time worrying about past things we can’t change or future things that will never happen.
The Naysayer - " I can't... "
The Naysayer is the first one to say, “That won’t work” or “This is a bad idea.” He is negative about everything. A “Naysayer” is one who denies, refuses, opposes, or is skeptical or cynical about something, or is a “dream stealer” or faith killer. His glass is half empty. He may will tell you that your ideas to expensive and to difficult to fulfill. The individual may vibrate frustration, pessimism, and an atmosphere of anger. For the naysayer, everything is hopeless, nothing will work, and we are doomed no matter what we try. As if by a compulsion, he shoots down every idea, and prefers frowns to smiles, depression to joy, the apocalyptic scenario to the way forward.
Self - Doubt - "What if I fail?..."
People who are dubious about their judgment may be highly vulnerable and see every important decision they make as a trial in which they are likely to find themselves deficient or to be found deficient by others. As a result, the individual put off making important decisions and often ask others for advice. Such passivity alleviates their anxiety in the short term, but in the long run it contributes to their feelings of uncertainty.
They may don't trust their own judgment and feel dependent on others. They may change their minds often, and when they finally make a decision, they are concerned that it was the wrong one. They may have low self-esteem and chronic anxiety. Individuals with self-doubt may have little control over their lives and feel uncertain about the causes of important life events. These people can have a wide range of negative dispositions and self-conceptions.
The Procrastinator - " Tomorrow..."
There are different underlying reason why some individuals procrastinate. Some fears the task due to the possibility of failure or judgement and will not even try. Sometimes this personality will even be afraid of the success that might follow as a result of completing the task. This delay may very well affect their professional success, as well as personal relations.
Others will wait until the very last minute to complete a task, stimulating the adrenal glands and a sense of “beating” the deadline. These people will often tell you that they work better under pressure. Studies would argue otherwise.
Some people will distract them with TV, Internet, games, facebook, pleasure seeking or trivial unimportant activities that delay task completion. Others have difficulties in making decisions but ultimately can't choose because they don’t want to be held accountable for mistakes.
Another reason for some people to procrastinate is that they feel helpless. They wait for someone to give them a hand. The Over-Achiever sets unreachable goals and feels terrible about himself when he can't perform. Others have big dreams but have a hard time to follow through.
Another procrastinator diminishes the importance of the task, even if it involves their well-being, such as going to the dentist or doctor. Some others blames their procrastination on forces outside their control.
Creating a New Belief System
Changing your beliefs can be unsettling at first. Know that in spite of your best efforts to let the later go, old belief patterns will often continue to come up for a while, especially if you are in the habit of indulging them.
Just denying them usually won't make them go away. Instead, letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your mind.
In order to create a new belief, it must be believable. Your challenge is to develop a different self-talk, perspective, life philosophies, or slogans that resonate with you on an experiential level.
Have a look at one negative belief you have about yourself at present and start to question that particular belief. Present as many questions as possible to the belief, in order to truly explore the basis of your understanding and rationale. Now turn the belief around and start to find evidence to the contrary.
I believe that I am not intelligent – question this belief thoroughly. Then turn it around and find evidence to prove that you are intelligent
I hope you found a particular belief that wasn’t particularly positive for you and you were able to challenge it and begin the process of changing your beliefs for your inner good.
Every day from now on find more evidence to support your new belief and look at your new belief statements often. It’s not a one off event, it has to be done every day in order to install into your subconscious mind, which is how your original beliefs got in there to start with.
- What would I need to believe in order to be experiencing this positive alternative?
- What emotion does this positive belief generate within me?
- How does the positive belief make me feel – physically?”
- What thought does this positive emotion generate? What new ideas, perspectives and viewpoints come up?”
- What action would these positive thoughts generate? If I were a person believing, feeling and thinking in this particular way, how would I act?” Who would you be?
- What words could I use to describe myself that make me feel good?
- How can I turn my limiting belief into a new way of thinking?
- What self-talk would help to strengthen my belief system?
- To what extent will this belief empower me?
When you want to gain freedom and inner peace you have to be ruthless, but compassionate with yourself.
Start to investigate all your beliefs about yourself, your life and emotional dramas. Welcome with your compassionate heart all the disowned parts of yourself. Bring everything out from the shadow into the light. Turn your life for a while upside down, allow a blaze of fire to move through you to clear old sticky, limiting or damaging beliefs, out of your mind and life. This may sounds cruel to you, but believe me it is not. It’s like clearing out all the clutter you have accumulated throughout your life. Letting go of beliefs which do not serves you anymore is like a thorough spring clean. It is liberating.
For most of us, it takes some time to untangle these deeply held mindsets we carry around.
You may find it difficult to shift your beliefs at first, but like any other skill, it takes practice. Installing a new belief is like reprogramming your computer (your brain). Don’t set yourself up for failure by trying to reprogram your whole life in one day. Ultimately a thorough and precise investigation into these beliefs reveals that they aren’t true. When you understood this in all aspects of your being, the result is freedom, a reclaiming of your natural self prior to conditioning. To install healthier beliefs you need to be patient with yourself. It takes time for your mind to accept the new belief.
Positive beliefs enable you to stay in a positive, productive, creative and empowered head space. Beliefs that allow you to explore and fulfill your potential. Beliefs that push you through the discomfort of life, allow you to deal with your fears and to come out the other side stronger, wiser and better equipped. Beliefs that give you the confidence to do what you need to do to create your best life.
Creating a Belief Board
Spent your time with different people.
As much as possible, spend time with people who you admire, respect and trust; people who will empower you, not handicap you.
Who we hang out with doesn’t determine who we become but it sure does influence us. As much as possible, spend time with people who you admire, respect and trust; people who will empower you, not handicap you.
Expose yourself to different environments, cultures, and ideas, thinking.
Some of us have lived in our little boxes for so long that we think the world starts and finishes at our doorstep. Spend time talking to people you would normally avoid or people you might consider yourself to have nothing in common with. They will teach you something. Travel, explore, see different things, do different things. Occasionally expose yourself to things that are ‘not you’. Consciously and proactively set yourself to learn new things.
Think for yourself.
Stop trying to fit in, and start being you. Don’t be a sheep. Question the way you think, behave and believe right now. Explore where those beliefs came from and identify them as a positive or negative in your life. Don’t adopt someone else’s beliefs because you like that person, make those beliefs your own when you’ve questioned them, explored them, tested them and discovered them to be true.
- We’re all largely driven, motivated, limited, empowered and controlled by our beliefs; this can be both good and bad.
- We have positive, negative and incidental beliefs.
- Beliefs typically form over a long period of time.
- They often develop with no real effort, input or awareness on our part. We rarely make conscious decisions about them; they take root in spite of us.
- They are the result of our influences and our experiences.
- We know that in certain situations and circumstances (home, work, clubs, church, politics), there exists a level of pressure to align our beliefs and thinking with the majority in order to be accepted, valued and respected as part of that group.
- Having different beliefs to the majority (in your immediate world), or changing your beliefs won’t always be well received. In fact, it will often be resisted and strongly discouraged.
- Quite often we adopt the beliefs of others. We grow into the thinking of our parents, teachers, preachers, bosses. We don’t explore or discover our own truth, we simply make theirs.. ours.
- We should re-examine, question and test our beliefs to determine whether they empower us or limit us.
- Just because you’ve believed something for a long time doesn’t mean it’s right; it just means you’ve believed it for a long time!
- We have an emotional attachment to some beliefs and the thought of letting go of them scares us. But sometimes it’s in the letting go that we have our eyes opened.
- In an effort to align our beliefs, thinking and behaviour with the group, we often lose ourselves. We lose our own identity and individuality, waste our potential and live a life of frustration, compromise and under-achievement. We don’t become the best we can, we become what is expected of us; we succumb to the enormity of conformity.