Facing and Releasing Your Fears

 

 

 

     Facing and Releasing Fear  

     → Feel Your Feelings

 
 
    

The Dark Room of Fear


FEAR is the dark room where all the negatives are developed. 

Fear is one of the primary reason that stops us from living our life’s, for taking actions and for reaching for our dreams.. Indeed, it is fear that stops us from doing many of the things we long to do. Whether it is speaking our minds, asking someone out on a date, making cold calls, speaking in public, it is the mental state of fear that stops us dead in our tracks.

Fear exists purely in the mind. It is not physical and cannot be seen. It is a learnt behaviour and developed to protect us. However, if uncontrolled, it can over protect and work against us by closing the door on opportunities that will help us grow and succeed.


There are Seven Categories of Fear


• Anger
• Hate
• Guilt
• Resentment
• Rejection/Abandonment
• Need for Approval
• Overwhelmed Burden

• Most feelings that cause discomfort and uneasiness can be traced back to one or more of these seven fear categories


Have you gained strength and understanding by dealing with your fears? Or do you hide your fears hoping they will leave your mind?


     


Dealing with the cancer or caring for a loved one with cancer frequently brings up feelings of fear and can push you easily into the darkroom of fear. Acknowledging your fears can empower you to befriend and manage them. If your fears remain buried, they will control you. 

When you receive the diagnosis of cancer, everything is changed in a split second, leaving you feeling, at least initially, powerless. You may face surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy. There can be side effects and risks to deal with. Relationships and your ability to work may be challenged; your sense of security is threatened. The future feels unsure, and questions of mortality are raised. It's no wonder that a person feels angry when cancer interrupts his or her life. Everything is changed in a split second, leaving you feeling, at least initially, powerless. You may face surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy.

People with Cancer  deal with many different fears. Initially, it's the fear that accompanies a diagnosis: fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear associated with receiving treatment, or ending treatment, fear of not being in control, plus fear of developing side effects or pain. For those involved in clinical trials or experimental therapies, the very nature of their uncertainty and unknown results may produce anxiety. Oftentimes, fears flare before routine follow-up exams. After cancer, there may be the lingering fear of recurrence, or the uncertainty of any late effects of treatment.

Treatment may not be initiated until the disease becomes symptomatic, leaving patients in a wait-and-watch mode that could last years. After cancer, there may be the lingering fear of recurrence, or the uncertainty of any late effects of treatment. There can be side effects and risks to deal with. Relationships and your ability to work may be challenged, your sense of security is threatened. The future feels unsure, and questions of mortality are raised. Living in this emotional limbo, with the stress and fear of uncertainty, makes patients feel as if they can never put the cancer behind them and regain a sense of control over their lives.


   


Fear and Anger


Fear can also masquerade as anger, which may keep you from directing your energies toward healing. 


Feelings of fear and anger are intertwined in the cancer experience. Most people want to feel a sense of control in their lives, but cancer challenges that, and you go through a flurry of powerful feelings. Since there's no way to avoid the intensity of emotion that patients and families feel, the best thing you can do for yourself and for one another is to express yourself.

One of the most common elements of the cancer experience is dealing with the spectrum of emotions that accompanies a diagnosis. Fear can be so overpowering that it can keep you from recognizing hope. → Nurturing hope. And misdirected anger can push those you love away at a time when you really want them close. Fear is often directed at those you're closest to, as well as doctors, nurses, and technicians.

Some people experience the intensity of their feelings so disturbing, that the very idea of crying and facing the depth of their feelings made them fear that they would lose control. So they withheld from expressing anything that would show his vulnerability. And their anger grew in proportion to the state of isolation they had created for themselves.  embrace your anger

Since there's no way to avoid the intensity of emotion that patients and families feel, the best thing you can do for yourself and for one another is to express yourself. No two people deal with cancer in an identical way, but what is universally true for anyone effected by cancer is the relief that comes from talking about it. Even people most resistant to the idea of support groups or counseling admit that they are a source of valuable information and bring focus to an overwhelming time of life.

The key is to be able to express the array of powerful emotions that go hand in hand with cancer. Having the courage to talk about your fears helps you diffuse anger and gain the clarity that's needed to make important decisions. It may feel very scary to even think about letting your feelings and worst fears out.


        
 

The following exercise will help you to let your fears go. If you are feeling confident, you can probably do this on your own; otherwise you may want to consult with a professional coach or therapist for assistance.

1. List everything you are fearful about in relation to your cancer or your loved one’s cancer and its effect on you and your family. For example, loss of income, cancer relapse….include large, medium and small fears.


2. Prioritize the list from most to least powerful fears. Working though the following steps could take an hour or many months. Go at your own pace.


Complete steps 3 through 5 for just one fear at a time.

3. Beginning with your most powerful fear, ask yourself why it makes you fearful. What would happen if it came to be? Then ask yourself why you are afraid of this happening. For each answer to the question, “why?” ask “why?” again. This will get to the root of the fear. For instance, if I am afraid of losing income because I think other people will no longer respect me, then I will ask myself, “Why would it be scary to lose their respect”, and so on until you can think of no more reasons for your fear.


4. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen if this fear materialized.” Let yourself experience how it would feel. Let out all of your feelings about such an occurrence. Give yourself time to fully experience the worst case scenario, until there is nothing else to feel. Then take a deep breath and fully relax your entire body. Allow your emotions to be lifted from you. You are letting go of an all powerful, overwhelming need to try to prevent this fear from becoming reality.


5. Now, see yourself handling the fear without falling apart. For instance, if I am afraid of losing my home, I can check into emergency housing loans; if I am afraid of getting a new job, I can read some materials on-line to help me plan a job hunt, and so on. Say to yourself, “If that happened, I could move on from there. My entire life would not be ruined.”

This step alone may take days or weeks to complete. Your intention to manage each fear will be within your subconscious mind. The subconscious goes to work on anything you ask of it - this is your storehouse of creativity, inner resources for handling any problem. The process may be slow or fast, depending on how carefully you heed the messages of your inner resources.

The secret reward in this exercise is that once you have released the fear, you are no longer attracting it to yourself. This is the “Law of Attraction” at work. What you focus on comes into your life. An intense need to keep something away from you will actually draw it to you. Releasing the fear of an event, you are no longer attracting it into your life. In the process of this exercise of releasing your fears, you will begin to attract into your life the resources you need to deal with your own or a family member’s cancer. With fear out of the way, you will have space for the future - a future in which you can handle any circumstances that come your way - good, bad or indifferent.


        


Fear is more than a simply mental state.


It effects both the physiology of the body and the chemical balance of the brain as well. When people are afraid it generates stress. Extreme stress can manifest itself physically in a number of ways. In extreme cases it can cause tunnel vision, loss of color perception (color blindness), it can cause a distortion of both time and of depth perception.

Fear, and the stress generated by it, will raise blood pressure. It will also deplete the immune system. Fear causes errors in judgment and prevents us from taking the most reasonable course of action. When you are ill with cancer you can't afford to deplete your immune system and need to do everything to strengthen it, e.g. by eliminating all the obstacles  and blockages which could prevent your healing.

Fear is one of the many emotions people in general feel and in particularly people with cancer for their own reasons. Fear is an emotion nobody likes dealing with. But, the flip side is if you don't learn to deal with fear it has many ways of fooling you and forcing you to take wrong decisions which might prove detrimental for your future growth; although in the short run such solutions might look very enticing. During many of life's tough situations, when we are beset with anxiety and stress, our inner voice guides us correctly. When thing are not quite clear, our intuitive judgment shows us the path.


      


Knowing Your Fears: 


What are the fears underlying your emotions? You will need to know and understand your fears. To do this you will have to swallow some pride and admit and accept that you have many fears that are affecting what you do each day. These fears are often not at the conscious level. Are you afraid of being alone; abandonment; the unknown; adventure; losing face; ridicule; not having enough money; loneliness; death; suffering; losing prestige; not being honored for your work and effort; losing your wife or husband – the list is endless?


Fears are tricky things.


There are some that you need to ignore and just act as if you were not afraid. For example, if you’re afraid to say no, your fear will leave as you begin to say no when you need to say no. At times it’s like exercising a muscle. The more you use it the easier it gets. Other fears are a healthy warning that something is very wrong. For example, a person might be afraid of another person. This fear might be the signal to avoid that person, to leave the relationship.

As you become aware of your fears and own them to be truly yours, a day will come when you will notice that one of them has somehow disappeared. That’s the way it is with fear. As you live a life in tune with your emotions, a life focused on coming from that place of love, you will find that many of your fears will just disappear.


         


Fear locks us in life situations.


Fear holds us captive. Fear is the greatest terrorist on earth and fear is housed within our mind. Fear is a thought that we each and all negatively fuel at times which holds us locked in potential energy which we refuse to allow to shift into moving active serving kinetic energy. We all have root fears we need to overcome and when we do the feeling is indescribable as we realize we truly are powerful unstoppable beings.


What are the fears underlying your emotions?


You will need to know and understand your fears. To do this you will have to swallow some pride and admit and accept that you have many fears that are affecting what you do each day. These fears are often not at the conscious level. Are you afraid of being alone; abandonment; the unknown; adventure; losing face; ridicule; not having enough money; loneliness; death; suffering; losing prestige; not being honored for your work and effort; losing your wife or husband – the list is endless?


The four root fears that generally hold us back in life are…


1. Fear that we are not good enough ….

2. Fear that we are not worthy of love….

3. Fear that we are unsafe and lack security…..

4. Fear of death –

I  think number 4 encompasses numbers 1, 2 & 3 because they represent a combined fear to live life fully as intended, and so anyone who is afraid to live is also afraid to die. No soul dies peacefully if it realizes that it hasn’t lived fully.

We are all afraid of many things in life but our fears usually stem from these root fears which at a root level cause us immense but totally unnecessary pain. Any time we can’t move forward in life we must be aware that the only thing preventing our life progress is fear.



Fear takes on many forms.


If you would not be afraid in certain situations you would end up doing things that needlessly would endanger your life, thereby increasing your risk of suffering from injury or death.  So in other words, you need to feel fear in order to keep alive. The trouble is, not all the fears that people experience are reactions to genuine threats that could cause them bodily harm. These types of fears are known as "irrational" fears because one you start thinking logically you soon realize that there is really nothing to be afraid of.

Some People wake up in the morning afraid of something. They lay awake at night worrying. Shadows, clouds and stormy weather don’t much care if you’re wide awake or sleepy. Fear is like a roach. It can thrive in any environment. It only needs a brain. The brain need not be rational, bright or highly intelligent. Any old brain will do. As long as it’s alive. Vision is blurred when the corridor of fear is closing in. It doesn’t matter that clear skies are at the end of the hall. We often struggle to see that proverbial light at the end. Those shadows are in high def though. We can see them in vivid detail.

They change shapes as we embrace their closeness. Sometimes they take form as the risk of failure. Other times they’re the possible outcome of success. From one extreme to the other we embrace our fears and use them as excuses preventing us from what we claim we really want. Our rational minds can fail us. Deception. Delusion. Imagination. Those are the fuel sources for our fears. Irrational fears can also be very self - limiting, because they tent to restrict or prevent you from doing certain things in life you would like to do. As a result, a person whose life is controlled by fear can end up missing out on many opportunities and experiences in life, and then spend the rest of their life filled with regret and wondering what might have been.

Unlike real fears, irrational fears serve no beneficial purpose. So these fears must be eliminated if you ever hope to achieve the goals, aims, and objectives that you set for yourself and fulfill your true potential. Effects of fear not only cause destruction, but also support progression in life. Anger and hatred are the two most common outcomes of fear. »» embrace your anger

Anger is the most significant effect of fear. You become angry when you suffer from insecurity in life. Anger is the primary sign of fear. I belief that those who act out their insecurities as anger are the most fearful of all people. Often those who act "macho" or "bad" are perceived as brave. Look past the facade. Those who act with anger are deeply immersed in fear. It is rare that fights occur over reasonable issues. Fear is the catalyst that fuels anger.


         


Are you fulfilling your potential? Is fear holding you back?


 Fear hold you back from what you are uniquely capable of achieving, and one of the many reason for such fear is because a person has forgotten who they are and what they are. In other words, they have forgotten their own unique blueprint and instead, have tried to use someone else's blueprint. So by ignoring your own blueprint, you are essential ignoring your own greatness.

Due to the limiting effects of fear and the limiting beliefs that are often associated with it, fear is, without exaggeration, the greatest enemy  of all human potential because more people are held back by real or imaginary fears than any other factors.

Fear is the result of a sense of helplessness. Focus on your strengths as tools against fear. Examine positive skills and traits that have moved you through difficult situations in the past, and enlist them in dealing with the present problem.


Where did your fears come from?


Perhaps the most recognized fear is external fear. This type of fear is caused by something outside of you which you are strongly motivated to avoid. These fears are usually called phobias. Some examples of phobias, or extreme fears, could be fear of spiders, snakes, , fear of flying, or fear of rats. Generally speaking, all these fears tend to occur after some negative experience with them in the past. Fortunately, external fears are relatively simple to overcome, providing you have a lot of determination and courage.


Internal Fears.


Internal fears can be generalized as a form of low self - esteem. They are triggered by external factors that create feelings of self - doubt. They make you feel incapable of doing or achieving something, and most of the time, you don;t even try to make a start at something. if you try, you will do so half - halfheartedly and with the expectation of failure.  For example, you may want to apply for a new job, start your own business, or ask someone out for a date, but you never bother to make an effort to try. In other words, you give up before you even begin. 

Low self esteem is often a reaction how your parents, teachers and other adults treated you as a child., and to a lesser extent, the things you experience throughout your life. Later in life , these feelings translate into fears of failure, rejection, lack of self - worth and self - doubt. in other words, low self - esteem. The good news is that by understanding , examining and learning to improve your own self esteem, a lot of these internal fears can be overcome.


         


Subconscious Fears.


A subconscious fear is a belief that has been accepted by your subconscious mind, usually as a result of something you experienced or you where told as a child. The most subconscious fear is self - sabotage. 

Self - sabotage occurs when you begin to achieve more then your subconscious mind beliefs you should achieve.  For example, if you always seem to get close to success, or even experience success for some time but then do something to mess it all up, it is likely that you had a deep belief that you don't deserve this.

Like internal and external fears, self sabotage tends to occur when some negative emotions are linked to change or to a particular event in your life. As a result, these fears motivate you  (on a subconscious level) to avoid this change or event and go back to where you subconsciously believe you should be.

Fear leads to self-sabotaging behavior, so that we take action to make ourselves feel better in the moment, rather than facing more difficult tasks that will help us reach our long-term goals. Focus on the steps required to reach your goal rather than procrastinating to avoid your fear of failure.


          


What are you controlled by?


Since we are largely controlled by our dominant emotions, if you have been raised from childhood to be fearful or experienced things in the past which created fear within you, then that fear will, to varying degrees, control your life and dictate your future actions.  Depending on the fear you have, this control will usually come in form of some kin=d of restriction on your life. This restriction will then prevent you from doing or achieving the things you would like to do, thereby preventing you from realizing the full potential of your unique blueprint.


 Breaking free from the shackles of fear.


If fear is a natural reaction to avoid something, then the opposite of fear is love. When your life is driven by love it is expressed as a desire, and strong desires will always overcome any fears that you may have. 

For example, if your house burns down, then a natural reaction would be  the fear the fire could burn you. If however, your children were in the house, your love for them and the desire created by that love, would more then likely be strong enough to overcome your fear of getting burned and thereby allow you to rescue your children. 

For internal fears, love is expressed as self - love or high self - esteem. It is a strong belief in yourself and in your ability to do what you set out to do, regardless of any obstacles that might stand in your way. When you truly love and believe in yourself, you desire will be strong enough to overcome any fears that you encounter.

For external fears, love is expressed as a desire to experience something rather to avoid it. This does not mean that you must fall in love with the thing you fear, but rather, that you accept it for what it is and are able to react appropriately around it. It means to be able to control yourself,rather than having your fear control you. When a person has this level of self control they said to have displayed courage, because they stood up to the thing they feared rather running away from it.

In order to overcoming fear you need to find out as much as you can about the thing you fear. This way you will be able to react on the basis on complete rather than incomplete information. In turn, this will then prevent you from worrying about things that you shouldn't worrying about. It will also help to reduce the level of fear that you experience by making you aware what could happen, rather making you imagine what might happen.

Action is a wonderful antidote to fear. Do something you fear and your fear lessens. Do it again and again, and after a time you may even enjoy it. And even if you never reach that stage, you will at least be very proud of having done the thing that kept you locked in fear.

Stand up and speak, make that phone call, walk up to a stranger and talk, learn a challenging new skill. Every time you take action like this, you not only reduce your fear for the future, but you begin a chain of new ideas and opportunities that will present themselves to you. Each of these actions is like a door opening to a hallway full of doors.


(Inside of your own mind, no one can hear you scream, the only option is fight dark with light and courage.... There is no turning back now...)


        


A simple exercise


A simple exercise to increase your awareness of the true reality regarding a particular fear, is to write down on a piece of paper several headings for major areas of your life. For example, some headings that you can use are: health, money, relationships and career.

Spread these headings out across the top of your paper evenly, and then draw a vertical line between them to separate each category. Alternatively you can use a separate piece of paper for each heading.

The purpose of this exercise is to clearly identify all the different fears that could happen. For example, you might be fearful looking foolish, being embarrassed, suffering from harm or even dying. Whatever it is that you fearful of, write it down so that you can see the factors that are contributing towards your fear.

Each fear factor you have written down is what is known as "driver" because they are responsible for making you feel anxious, apprehensive or terrified about something. the more drivers you have, the more likely you are to fear something and the stronger your feeling of fear will be. For each of your drivers, think about whether they are a real threat to you. For example, if you were made to look foolish in a particular situation, what's the worst that could happen?

Susan Jeffers wrote an excellent book about dealing with fear called" Feel the fear, and do it anyway". The title of this book is worthwhile remembering because it can be very useful in helping you to overcome irrational fears.

In order to overcome your fears, you must be willing to face your fear and to expose yourself to it. But remember, at this early stage there will be strong repulsion to the things you fear. This is normal and expected.  Every time you walk away from your fears you give them more power. Break the cycle of negative reinforcement by forcing yourself to face your fears. Over time, this will promote a sense of capability.

Face your fears head - on. You may need therapy to help conquer your fears, and one type is called exposure therapy. In this type of therapy, you slowly expose yourself to whatever you're afraid of and allow yourself to become desensitized to it. By exposing yourself gradually to the object of your fear, you slowly begin to see the object more rationally and your fear begins to subside. Dispel your fear with facts. Fear is often based on inaccurate beliefs. Counter them by listing the facts about the feared situation. Facts allow you to take action, while anxiety prohibits action.

There are several proven techniques you can use to overcome fear. However it would be to much to go into the details of them here. But you always can contact me personally, if you would like to get some help with overcoming your fears. At this site I will provide a few suggestions to you which may will help and encourage you to work and overcome your fears.


 What beliefs do people with an active fear-led life share?

  • No matter what I do, I'll never be able to overcome that fear.

  • Things are always going to be this way, so there is no use in trying.

  • I'll never change. It is just a waste of time to try.

  • Everyone in my family had the same fears. Why should I be different?

  • I'm so scared of these things. It is impossible to feel differently.
  • There are so many reasons why I should feel the way I do. It is useless to believe I could feel differently.

  • I am a useless specimen who deserves no better than this.

  • These fears are a part of me. I've felt this way forever. It is too much work and too difficult to let go of them.

  • I have no idea what it is I'm afraid of. I only know I feel fear, anxiety and tension.

  • It takes too much work to overcome all of these fears, so just forget it.

  • Most of the methods used to relax fear are silly and childish. They can't possibly work.

  • I've never been able to get rid of these fears, and   I can't do it now.

  • It is impossible for me to picture anything in my mind. The visualization techniques are useless for me.

  • No one can help me with this.

  • Why try? I'll only end up regretting the waste of time and energy in the end.

  • If fear is a fact of life I need to accept, why do I need to learn to overcome it? Wouldn't it be better to just accept it and go on?

  • It is impossible not to think about these fears.

  • I have no way of having a happy life with these fears.


        


Here are some Fear Busters and suggestions to face your fears


Reduce Fear

The best way to beat fear is to not allow it to grow. Curb it down the moment it shows up, remove the bud of fear, don’t let it grow. Like other negative emotions, fear starts in your mind. If you can control/deal with your thoughts, you can deal with anything.


To bust fear creating thoughts …

  • Think extreme

What’s the worst thing that could happen ?

When thoughts of negative future, possibilities of things going wrong keep getting in your way, you might want to try this out – think of the worst possible thing that could happen to you in that scenario. If you can deal with that, you can deal with anything less worse that happens.

To your surprise, you might find that the worst case possible is not as bad as you thought. You will be able to deal with it. This knowledge that no matter how bad things go, you can manage will not allow fear to grow.


  • Think Baby Steps

If you are probably like me, you want to make sure that nothing comes in your way. This means, you want to be clear of each and every step you are going to take, you want to know in advance how things are going to work out. But the truth is, it is not possible to even think up of all possible scenarios let alone manage each of them.

When thought of unknown future stops you or when you get lost in a sea of plans, you might want to do this … take a deep breath and tell yourself one step at a time. You will think of just the next step to take. Whatever difficulties you see in future for yourself, you will deal with them if and when they arise. Mark Twain’s quote fits perfectly for what I have to say – “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” So why waste time thinking about them, why be fearful of something that might or might not happen.


  • Think Not, Do

While logic can be your best friend, it can easily become your worst enemy as well. If you are highly into logic, fear might be using your own strength against you. It is very difficult to go against well thought out reasoning. If you are someone who gives a lot of buts and cants, you might want to take a closer look at them. Ask yourself ‘is that so’ every time you give yourself a reason why something is not possible or why you can’t do something. You might discover that you are holding yourself back … unknowingly of course.

When you jump into unknown, when you want something big for yourself, you will always have to go beyond your current abilities. These buts and cant's, these logical reasoning's might be stopping you from growing. To grow, you have to stretch yourself, you have to be unreasonable with yourself and demand from you something which you thought is not possible for you. To be unreasonable, you will have to face fear.

A simple tactic to use when you find yourself immobilized by can’t do thoughts … tell yourself you just want to give it a shot. You are going to try whole heartedly .. if you fail it’s all right. In short, give yourself permission to fail.


Find Courage

Fear breeds on lack of confidence. Literally. You doubt yourself and you open doors for fear to enter and take over. Each and everyone of us is capable of creating miracles. There is no question about this fact. But lack of confidence can put a stop on any promise you hold.

When your belief in yourself is a bit shaky, you find courage to take action by …

  • Relying On Past Success

It’s amazing what you can do with success you have had.

Close your eyes and remember times you had success … when you achieved something superb, when you did something extraordinary. Remember times when you found courage to do something great which surprised you. Revisit each of these victories and experience again the time you got that success, experience the feeling of being a success. Every experience you visit, will strengthen your belief in yourself and help you find motivation to take action.

And when you visit these amazing journeys to success you have had, learn from them. Learn what did you do that worked for you. Learn how did you find courage then. Learn how did you find your motivation then. Learn everything you can, learn the secret of your own success.


  • Relying on other people’s success

It’s amazing what you can do with other people’s success as well.

If you haven’t been victorious in your past, if you have not done anything extra ordinary so far, you can begin now. Read through inspiring passages, inspiring journeys that other people have had. There are so many people – known and unknown who have faced more difficulties than you have and still succeeded. Go through these amazing stories and get inspired.

Look around to find people with success stories. And see whether you can learn from them. If you ask, most of them will gladly help you out, they will share with you what works for them. Learn their secrets and see how can you apply them in your life.


  • Relying on loved ones

Sometimes all you need is a vote of confidence. A thumbs up from friends, a you can do it from a loved one can work wonders on your confidence. When you don’t believe in yourself, ride through your entire journey based on belief that your loved ones have in you. Every time you feel you are falling off the wagon, every time you feel you are going down, go back to your loved ones to find confidence, to get motivated.

People who love you will want to encourage you and help you succeed. But a lot of times they might not know how or when. Help them help you by telling them what you want and how. If you haven’t done this before, this might not feel right in the beginning. But over a period of time you will find that this works wonders. Your loved one will be able to help you get motivated and find courage to take action in no time.


       


Fear Journal


Step 1: In your journal, list the fears you believe are active in your life. Once you've listed the fears, rank them in order of greatest intensity, with number 1 being the worst fear.

 

Step 2:

Once you have rank ordered your fears, explore your level of motivation to confront these fears by answering the following questions in your journal:

  • How real are these fears to me?

  • How much power in my life do these fears have?

  • How do these fears explain past or current actions in my life?

  • How do these fears determine my self-image, self-concept, self-esteem?

  • How do these fears disable me?

  • How do these fears inhibit me?

  • What emotions do these fears block?

  • How long have I had these fears?

  • What have I done to overcome these fears?

  • How convinced am I of the need to confront these fears?


 

Step 3:

Once you have explored your motivation for confronting your fears, convince yourself of the need to address these fears. On a separate sheet of paper, answer these questions:

  • How do your fears influence your decision making process?

  • How do your fears encourage and exacerbate your sense of insecurity?

  • How do your fears keep you from making a change in your life?

  • How do your fears influence your response to offers of help from others?

  • How have your fears kept you chained down and locked in?

  • How have your fears influenced your educational, career and work pursuits?

  • How have your fears contributed to your self-destructiveness?

  • How have your fears affected your belief in a healthy future for you?

  • How have your fears kept you from growing as a person?

  • How have your fears contributed to an unhealthy life-style for you?

 

Step 4:

Now that you are motivated to confront your fears, address the following issues in your journal: (These issues need to be addressed before you can proceed to Step 5.)

  • What new behavior do I need to develop in order to confront my fears?

  • What beliefs block my desires and attempts at confronting my fears?

  • How willing am I to try out new behavior?

  • How willing am I to use some of the ``tools'' available to overcome fears?

  • What new beliefs do I need to confront my fears?


 

 

Step 5:

Once you are committed to confronting your fears, use tools found in this series to identify strategies in confronting each fear. For each of your fears, list the Tools for Coping tools you can use to overcome it.

  • The Overcoming Fears Tool Box

  • Handling Irrational Beliefs

  • Self-Affirmation

  • Handling Guilt

  • Building Trust

  • Handling Insecurity

  • Letting Go

  • Stress Reduction

  • Spirituality

  • On Becoming a Risk Taker

  • Accepting Change

Once you have identified the tools for each fear, use them, addressing your highest ranked fear first.


       

             
 
AddThis Social Bookmark Button